Maybe He Is Just Lazy?

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Someone who is lazy does not value hard work. He wants to find short cuts, take the easy way out.  This is downright un-American. We are a nation of hard-working, innovative, muscle to the grindstone, elbow-grease kind of people. I, however, do not really believe in laziness. In my experience as a therapist, those people who underperform or lack ambition usually have something blocking them from being more productive. Sometimes it is an emotional conflict (like being afraid to grow up), a brain problem (like ADHD, slow processing speed), or a lack of confidence. The Opt-Outs I know were raised by productive, achievement-oriented parents.  They understand the value of hard-work and ambition.

However, there are other values that he may lack, and that are crucial to being productive. These include:

  • Delaying Gratification
  • Taking Risks
  • Tolerating discomfort
  • Commitment
  • Courage
  • Being proactive


Kids who have never been left to struggle for themselves, who have been over-protected, over-indulged, and in a word, over-parented, never learn how to delay gratification or to tolerate discomfort. They develop a dependence on their parents, get used to everything done for them, and never have to take risks, commit, or find the courage within to put themselves out there.


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